原标题：《哈佛商评》: 作业中焦虑对咱们的影响
- Alice Boyes
abstract
It changes how we perceive things.
I have an anxiety-prone brain. When presented with a new idea, my first instinct is usually to think of what could go wrong and the worst-case scenario. Whenever communication is ambiguous, the first conclusion I jump to is a negative one.
If you share these tendencies, you won’t necessarily be able to change them, and nor do you need to; they’re probably your hard-wired defaults, and they can yield positive outcomes, such as diligence and sensitivity to others. However, you can learn to recognize when you’re seeing through anxiety-tinted glasses and adjust your thinking so it doesn’t limit you. Here are some common ways anxiety can cause problems at work and suggestions for ways to minimize them.
You misjudge the view others have of you.
Anxious folks tend to worry that others dislike them or don’t see them as talented. For instance, let’s say a coworker doesn’t greet you as warmly as they do others and always seems rushed in your interactions. You assume the person doesn’t like you. But realistically, there are other possibilities: perhaps they’re warmer with people they know better or their only way of socializing is to joke around and you give off a serious vibe. Because you don’t feel liked, you avoid that colleague, but then they might feel snubbed and jump to the conclusion you don’t like them!
Instead, it’s important to recognize when you’re interpreting an interpersonal situation without solid evidence. Equally, if not more important, is to understand that even if your colleague isn’t into you (professionally- speaking) you can still have a fruitful relationship.
You’re defensive about feedback.
Anxious people are often driven to succeed, so they want feedback that helps them improve, but they tend to catastrophize it and see it as an indicator they’re doomed to fail. If this sounds like you, get clear about what makes it easier for you to be open to criticism. For me, this includes getting it from someone whose advice I trust and who believes in my general competency/talent, having it sandwiched between positive comments, and receiving it via email (so I can digest it slowly) and when I ask for or expect it (to feel more in control).
The flipside of knowing how you like to get feedback is recognizing how you don’t and figuring out a way to get more comfortable in those scenarios. For instance, I find it hard to take critiques from new people but I also find fresh perspectives very valuable, so I’m willing to tolerate the anxiety of it. It’s also useful to have some canned responses for when feedback has caused your anxiety to spike and you need time to modulate your reaction — for instance: “Those are good points. Let me go away and think them through and come up with a game plan for how to implement your suggestions.”
You avoid situations then get perceived as difficult.
We tend to avoid the things we’re anxious about and then feel ashamed about the avoidance, which causes us to be unclear in our communication. This problem can manifest itself in big and small ways. Maybe you feel awkward about responding to an email so procrastinate on it, which leaves the impression that you’re unreliable, disorganized, or confusing. Or maybe your clinical-level fear of flying is making you turn down work trips.
In many cases it’s best to be honest about what’s causing your hesitation. You won’t always receive the understanding you hope for but transparency reduces everyone’s stress, enhances trust, and is often perceived as brave and authentic.
You react negatively when presented with unexpected ideas.
If your first thought when presented with new ideas is to consider the risks, downsides, and reasons they won’t work, other people are probably picking up on your instinct and, worse, may perceive it as unwelcome negativity. Even if it’s only your initial reaction, it can be demoralizing and annoying for others who do see a way to move forward.
If you’re one of these naysayers, I recommend training yourself to give sandwich feedback. Make sure that your first response to a new idea is to note what’s good about it. Doing this will help your brain improve at balanced thinking and benefit you overall. You can then mention your worries, but end on a positive note. Another strategy is to delay reacting, even by only a few hours, so that when you do respond, you’re giving a considered response.
Anxiety can motivate people in very positive ways: for example, fear of rejection can make you work harder at and deeply value relationships, and being sensitive, cautious, and careful can enhance your performance on difficult tasks. The better you understand how your anxiety works, the more you can maximize these positive aspects and minimize the negative so you’re more accepting of yourself and better able to handle challenges that arise at work.
Alice Boyes, PhD is a former clinical psychologist turned writer and is author of The Healthy Mind Toolkitand The Anxiety Toolkit.
译者：belllek
我具有一个易于焦虑的大脑。每逢呈现一个新的主意或主意，我的榜首直觉一般是哪里会犯错及或许会呈现的最糟糕的情况。每逢呈现不置可否的沟通，我的榜首反响总是负面的。
假如当你有这种趋势，你不会简单的改动它们，你也不需求改动；它们或许是你与生俱来的，而且或许会发生活跃的成果，比方在其他方面更勤勉或更灵敏。但是，你能够去学着辨认当你戴着焦虑有色眼镜的时刻然后调整你的主意这样一来它们便不会限制住你。这里有一些焦虑在作业中会引起的问题和削减焦虑的简易办法。你误解他人的观念。
焦虑人群倾向于担忧他人不会喜爱他们或看不见他们的才调。比方，当搭档对待你不如对待其他人热心并在与你的沟通中显得很冷酷。你便会以为这个人不喜爱你。但事实上，还有其他或许：或许他们对他们熟知的人更热心或他们交际的方法是恶作剧而你给人一种色彩的感觉。由于你以为你不被喜爱，你就会避开那位搭档，但他们却会感觉被萧瑟然后得出你不喜爱他们的定论！
相反，很重要的一点是知道到你是在没有确凿的依据去阐释一个人的人际联系。相同的，没那么重要的是，了解到即便你的搭档没那么喜爱你（专业视点来说）你仍是能够与他建立起有成效的联系。你对反响持防护情绪。
焦虑的人群更易被成功的愿望唆使，所以他们期望能得到对他们有用的反响，但他们更易小题大做而且把它看作是注定失利的征兆。假如这听起来很像你，澄清对你来说什么更简单使你对批评持敞开情绪。对我来说，这包含从我信赖并信赖我的才能/才调的人那里得到主张，搀杂活跃的言辞，并通过邮件接纳（这样我便能够渐渐消化内容）而且是在我提出要求的时分（感觉更有控制力）。
知道你喜爱怎样得到反响的另一面是知道到你不喜爱并企图在这种场景中让自己更舒畅。比方，我发现了自己十分难于接纳刚知道的人的批评但我也找到了十分有价值百科的新的视点的观念，所以我乐意忍耐这种焦虑。相同有协助的是预设回复对应当反响使你焦虑飙升而你需求时刻去调适你的反响——比方：“这些主意很好。让我走开并想一想再提出方案来进步优化你的主张。”你避免了其时难以应对的情况。
咱们倾向于躲避咱们焦虑的作业，然后对躲避感到惭愧，这导致咱们在沟通中不清楚。 这样的一个问题能够在大大小小的方面体现出来。 或许你在回复一封邮件时会感到为难，因而推迟，这会给你留下不可靠、乱七八糟或令人困惑的形象。 或许你对飞翔的临床惊骇让你回绝了作业游览。 咱们倾向于躲避使咱们感到焦虑的作业之后再对躲避而发生惭愧，这导致咱们在沟通中很困惑。这样的一个问题会以大大小小的方法展示出来。或许你对回复邮件感到为难而推迟它，这就使你留下你不可靠，乱七八糟或苍茫的形象。或许是你由于惊骇飞翔而回绝出差。
在许多景象下最好的方法是诚笃地表达你迟疑不决的原因。你不会总是得到你所期望的回应但透明化削减了所有人的压力，一起增强信赖，也一般会被以为是英勇和实在。当有意外的情况呈现时你体现的很消沉。
假如当你面临新的主意榜首反响是考虑到危险、缺陷和不会有作用，其他人会罗致你的直觉，更糟的是，或许以为它是不受欢迎的消沉情绪。即便那只是你的榜首反响，也或许会使想要行进一步的人士气受挫。
假如你是那些反对者之一，我主张你练习自己去给出中立反响。保证你关于新的主意给出的榜首反响是找到其间的闪光点。这样做将协助你的大脑进步平衡考虑并对全体有利。你能够提出你的担忧，但以活跃的主意作为结束。另一个战略是推迟反响，即便只要几个小时，这样你给出的主张也是通过深思熟虑的。
焦虑能够以十分活跃的方法鼓励人们：比方，关于回绝的惊骇可使你作业更尽力并深入衡量联系，并坚持敏锐，好奇心，当心精力能够使你在有难度的使命中体现更超卓。你越更好的了解你的焦虑的运转方法，你就越能扩大这些活跃的方面并缩小消沉的方面，这样你便能更好的接纳自己，更好的能在作业中呈现的应战。
Alice Boyes,从临床心理学家博士转变为作家，作品有《 The Healthy Mind Toolkitand The Anxiety Toolkit》
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